Avoiding Unconscionable Behaviors

(From Lukaszewski’s Civility and Decency Manifesto)

photo credit: Shutterstock @asiandelight

The True Test of Civility

The true test of civility is a commitment to verbal and written communication that is predominantly positive and declarative, and behaviors that are simple, sensitive, sensible, constructive, positive, helpful, empathetic, and benefit the recipient more than the sender. Any other pathways lead only to trouble, protracted problems, delayed mitigation and resolution. Empathy means positive deeds that speak more loudly and more constructively than words.

It’s simple. Avoid unconscionable behaviors by recognizing them immediately and stop yourself from doing them. This strategy is the same for every form of misbehavior since these behaviors are intentional. No lectures, no sermons, no editorials, no op-eds, no cartoons, no erudite excuses, simply STOP.

1. When your words, deeds or actions turn to vilification, STOP.
2. When you use sarcasm to ridicule, damage, demean, dismiss, diminish, or humiliate, STOP.
3. When your words are arrogant, STOP.
4. When your words clearly express anger and irritation, STOP.
5. When your words, deeds or actions are demanding and bullying, STOP.
6. When your words are just plain mean, STOP.
7. When your words insult, STOP.
8. When your words become corrosive and disrespectful, STOP.
9. When your words become disparaging and tone deaf, STOP.
10. When you speak and behave without empathy, STOP.
11. When your words, deeds or actions intentionally injure, STOP.
12. When your words spread accusations and suspicion, STOP.
13. When your words are overbearing and overzealous, STOP.
14. When what you propose is negative, punitive, defensive, and harmfully restrictive on others, STOP.